When the news broke about the Methodists officially rejecting everything Christ stood for in the way of human relations, a friend asked me if I thought that it would result in a “split of Christianity.”

I explained that the split had already occurred when the original “official” church fractured into Roman Catholicism, the Greek Orthodox Church, and the Russian Orthodox Church.

Then I added that the Protestant Reformation, over 500 years ago, further split “God’s one True Church, and that since then, the Protestants have further split into over 4,000 different flavors and varieties.

Finally, I concluded, this shows that Christianity is always splitting; if you don’t like our interpretation of God’s Eternal Truth(tm), no problem: start your own church with your own version. Even you might end up with your own $15,000,000 mansion while your followers struggle to pay their bills and buy groceries.

The whole mischpocha is further evidence to support my claim that if Jesus returned to Earth today, his “followers” will have killed him by next Wednesday at the latest.

People never seem to remember that God wants us to bear spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

Trust me: I’m a Preacher’s Kid(tm).